My amazing friend Michele (a.k.a. thepinkhatrunner) and I were supposed to meet up to run after work but she advised me to listen to my body and rest since I have so many more longer, harder runs coming up that I needed to be 100% healthy for. She's so wise. Determined to actually do the smart thing for once, I went home thinking I was just going to relax and unwind. But I couldn't. All of my thoughts and feelings and stress were weighing on me and I just needed to get out. So I threw on my Hokas and headed out the door for a run. As soon as I took that first step I could feel that weight lifting. It was as if with each footfall, I was pounding my stress into the pavement and leaving it there.
The last mile back to my apartment is a hill and no matter how often I run it, it never seems to get any easier. Today I charged my way up that hill with no thought to how it burned my legs or how ragged my breathing was or how much my body was hurting. About a quarter of the way up the tears began to fall. Tears of anger and frustration and hurt. By the time I reached the top of that hill I was laughing hysterically at myself and the hot mess that I was sure I looked like. But I didn't care. I got to the top of that hill and felt a million times better. It may not have been the longest run or the hardest, but for today and how I emotionally and physically felt...it was perfect.
To top it all off I came home to find that my friend Heather had left me the sweetest message on Facebook that really touched my heart. She said, "...just the fact that you are alive, breathing, and in this world is enough. You do not need to live for anything or anyone other than yourself and the things that make you happy. Being authentically yourself enhances the world around you and touches other lives." I love that girl! My friends are seriously the best!
So I'm trying really hard to embrace an attitude of gratitude and "enough", that everything happens for a reason and that God would never give me more than I'm strong enough to bear. I know I'll be ok. I just have to believe and have faith.
And maybe go for a run....